Tag Archives: cool stuff

Bullshit Hacking, or Lies Society Taught Me

Meeting some ducks

Meeting some ducks.

I bloody love going to see my shrink. Ok don’t get me wrong, the bastard still makes me cry, and remember how it feels to feel things I thought I’d put long behind me, but he’s also some kind of ninja counselling genius who picks out ridiculously profound patterns from my what-I-always-assumed-were random thoughts. Which is kinda mindblowing in a how-did-you-even-see-that kinda way, as well as in a more personal understanding-how-my-head-works kinda way. Which is kinda the main point I guess.

So basically I’m learning lots about me. Conveniently I really like learning new things, and I wanted to share a few of them here:

The phrase “A smile costs nothing” is bullshit. True, sometimes it doesn’t cost anything, but then again, sometimes it does. If you’re in the mood for smiling, or not too bothered one way or the other, then sure – give it a whirl. But if you really want to do something other than smile, then it’s a little lie. You’re hiding your feelings, sparing other people’s feelings, avoiding reality. Stuff having a brave face (or a calm face or a supportive face) – I’d rather be in touch with what’s real. I don’t owe anyone a smile – I give smiles when, and because, I want to.

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” is also bullshit. True, if you have to break bad news or broach an uncomfortable subject you might want to err towards choosing your words reasonably considerately, but I’ll take being honest and listening, instead of clamming up and pretending everything’s fine, a thousand times out of a hundred. I have no right to assume that people want me to “protect them” from uncomfortable discussions. Equally if I don’t feel I’m being listened to, then I have no duty to stay in that situation – I have a choice of how to deal with it. And that can include taking a step back or taking some time, or taking my ideas elsewhere. I choose not to be defensive or jump to conclusions, and I can choose not to be around people who do. And that’s Ok. That’s my right.

“Always put other people first” is bullshit too. Consider other people, yes; don’t be unethical or take advantage of others – but always put them before me? Always leave myself with the shitty end of the stick? Always compromise, always give in, always carry other people’s burdens even if they’ve not asked? No. Do other people always put my needs first? No. I have a right to my own boundaries, just like other people have a right to theirs. And I don’t have to give up my boundaries to be accepted as a helpful and charitable member of society. Bugger it – I don’t even have to be seen as a helpful or charitable member of society – I just need to be me.


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Filed under Comfort, Inspiration, Nice Things

Cool Kenyan stuff (even though it’s quite warm)

A travel blog wouldn’t be complete without amusingly double-entendrified everyday products, and some photos of ace local stuff. Here is my contribution to the cause:

Doing my laundry by hand was Toss

Here I am with my very own bucket of Toss laundry detergent (available in blue or white varieties, I’m not sure why).

Want to know why Kenyans are so good at running? They run marathons for breakfast. Every day. Here are some of the guys that regularly ran past us on our way to the school:

Faster! Faster!

There are giraffes in our backyard. Well, in the next door field. I shall say no more.

No explanation needed

Awesome views. Especially sunsets. And especially sunsets from Savannah’s bar, set high up on the hillside overlooking the Maasai plains. And of course no electricity means no light pollution, so once the sun has set, the night skies are super clear – you can see galaxies! Unfortunately I’ve not managed as yet to capture this on camera, but bear with me and please believe me for now.

The Savannah Sunset resort. Sadly usually closes at sunset unless invaded by Western volunteers wanting to spend money

The Maasai are one of the more colourful Kenyan peoples. Their gorgeously coloured clothes and handmade beadwork brighten up the dingiest rainy day

Pottering along

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT! Food is not only amazingly fresh and tasty, it is pretty cheap here. I got ALL THIS for 87p!




Filed under Africa, Food & Drink, Kenya, Photography, Travel